IT'S A POOR THING TO LIE TO YOURSELF

#SMED 11

The title of this week's blog reminds me of the number of excuses people come up with to justify their actions, in this case actions that have a negative impact on others and on themselves.

As human beings we are all prone to some form of dependence, compulsive behaviours and/or addictions. Regardless of type, 'addictions carry with it the same basic symptoms of obsession, loss of control, compulsion and the continual use, regardless of negative consequencs.' - Jessica Bradbury.

In most cases those suffering from compulsive behaviours and addictions are master manipulators and use lies and deceits to validate their continued obsessions/addictions, ie :
- Alcohol dependence
- Drug dependene
- Eating disorders
- Cyberspace addiction
- Shopaholics
- Gambling
- Abusive behaviour
- Adultery
- Exercising

Individually as well as collectively, the afore-mentioned dependences and addictions negatively impact on the relationships with family, loved ones, friends, colleagues, etc. When confronted, we lie to our loved ones and to ourselves. Some of the often- heard excuses:
- I don't have a problem. I can stop drinking any time I want to;
- Tomorrow I will start losing weight by going on a strict diet and excercise programme;
- Tomorrow I will spend less money on gambling;
- Tomorrow I will be a better husband/wife/partner and not swear/hit/be abusive towards family members/partners

The sad thing is that unless one seeks professional help, these lies will continue to be idle words, carrying no weight at all. In the world of the compulsive gambler/drug addict, etc. the world revolves around themselves and the elusive 'tomorrows' - those unfulfilled promises.

i believe that it is a poor idea to lie to oneself as'Man's mind is so formed that it is far more susceptible to falsehood than to the truth.' - Erasmus , Dutch Christian Humanist.

Unless you seek professional help to confront your addictions, obsessions or demons, you cannot conquer them. I recently watched the pre-programme adverts for 'Ruby' - a woman who has battled severe weight problems. Herewith some commentary :
- Everyone is sick of your excuse
- Will you conquer your demons or will they overcome you?

People lie to themselves and to others and unless they confront their addictions, they will not be free to live the life they were meant to live. You can't conquer what you can't confront. if we work on, and fix our relationship with food, shoping, alcohol, exercise, gamblihg, etc., I believe the knock-on effect will be that our relationships with family, friends, colleagues, etc., will be significantly improved .
In conclusion, 'Believe that problems do have answers, that they can be overcome, and that you can solve them - Norman Vincent Peale