FATHER’S DAY : DOWN MEMORY LANE

#SMED11

‘What makes a man a man is not the ability to have a child but to raise one’ – Barack Obama. This powerful quotation tweeted by myself on Father’s Day reminds me of my very influential father – Wilhelm de Wet.

Some of memories might be faded over the years, but in today’s blog I’d like to provide an insight into a person who was exceptionally intelligent, an avid reader, a student for life suffered and a person who developed Muscular Dystrophy and how it played a key role in our family life.

Having passed away 31 years ago, at the tender age of early fifties - exactly two month prior to my marriage, I believe losing a parent at such a young age not only robs oneself, but also the grandchildren from growing up without the nurturing, maturity, wisdom and guidance of a grandparent.

The legacy of my father and how he prepared his wife and children for an early death, is one of the memories that stands out for me:
- He accepted that his body would degenerate rapidly in his later life
- He knew and prepared his wife and children for an early death
- We were prepared: no hysterical outburst or crying tantrums at his funeral
- Burial within within three days of his death
- Wearing black (which then was perceived as a sign of being morbid and sorrowful)was to be avoided

I believe that my father’s illness formed the building blocks for assisting people in need – as children we would learn from my mother :
- Providing an outstretched arm to assist him up the steps
- Ensuring doors of the family vehicle are locked when he has to go out at night
- Ensuring that the scarf, coat and hat are always at hand
- Ensuring he received a healthy diet of cooked vegetables and steamed meat
- Ensuring his clothes are kept warm during the cold winter months

I would fail in my description if I do not mention that in addition to being well-known for baking jam-rolls, he was also well-known for his love of Kranskraal, the farm on which he was born - in the Beaufort-west region. It was common knowledge that the moment the school bell rang at the end of each term, my father would start up the vehicle and head in the direction of his beloved Kranskraal. Most importantly, in addition to the usual groceries, he would always take family members with him – thereby ensuring family members residing in Cape Town keep the memories of the once-family farm alive.

Not wanting to take anything away from his brother, sisters and in-laws, who have respectively continued to play role in the development of my own family life, on a personal note, I believe the greatest sadness of a death so young, is the opportunity missed to learn from and engage with such an extensive pool of knowledge and wisdom.

With Father’s Day serving as inspiration for today’s blog, I’d like to thank my late father for having the opportunity to know him for a limited period of twenty-plus years. Thank you for the discipline, values and work ethics instilled in me. As an avid reader and student for life, thank you for passing on that eagerness to constantly be on the path to gain knowledge. For health reasons beyond our control, our time shared together, was far too limited, but we cherish those wonderful memories of a wonderful father and husband to our late mother.

In conclusion, you’ve raised us well. We are Proudly Wilhelm de Wet’s children - I/we thank you!